Saturday, October 26, 2013

Denim and Lace: Style Inspiration

I've been into this combo since...well the 80's!  It's a fun juxtaposition, and one that doesn't seem to get old.








This particular set of outfits gave me a craft idea.  I'd like to try making a lace underskirt...like a slip that "shows" to peek out under my very straight-lined denim skirt.  It's knee length.  Could be interesting.  If I try it, I'll show you here!

Friday, October 25, 2013

Weight Loss for Dummies


So, the mighty scale said that I'd lost 30 pounds yesterday.  No, not all in one day, but in quite a quick couple of months.  The entire time a pound or two was coming off at a steady rate I looked forward to writing about this one day.

Sorry, folks, no shaming "what's your excuse?" before/after photos here


Why?  Because I didn't do a dang thing to lose that weight.

And even more shocking?  I didn't do a dang thing to gain it before I lost it.

In the midst of my path to finding the right medicines and vitamins to help my mental struggles, I have tried 5 or 6 different kinds.  That sounds more simple than it is.  Each drug has a certain time it takes of every day use to get to a "clinical level."  Most I had to try for a month or more.

At first I was on things that I'd heard commercials for like Celexa or Lexapro.  I thought it was kind of interesting to see what each one did to my mind and body.  Interesting as a descriptive word soon got dropped for tortuous.  It really was that, body and soul.  Since the drugs were for my mind all of my belief systems and feelings and fears were affected 24 hours a day.

I had so much emotional investment in getting better that I suffered through anyway.  What I didn't quite plan on was the physical roller coaster.  After about a month on the 6th medicine(an obscure one most people haven't heard of) I found myself in an Emergency Room heart attack clinic.  I was retaining fluid in my ankles and felt fluid building in my chest when I lied down.  My chest hurt and had so much pressure.  Besides being lonely and scary the hospital visit was full of pokes and prods and a lot of boredom staring at a white wall.  I was able to see the connection finally to this medicine and an insanely rapid weight gain along with these new deadly symptoms.

So, I called my Dr and switched medicines within the week.  I went back on Prozac (the one I was one at first before trying 5 others :) which isn't perfect for me, but probably what works best (along with several vitamins I discovered I needed).  And now that I'm getting closer to "normal" again both in brain function and weight I'm a little angry.  Being a human "fat girl" experiment is not for the weak of heart.  I couldn't believe how different some people treated me and the condescending way they tried to "motivate" me to workout more or try the new special herbs they were selling.  I happened to be exercising more than I ever had at that time and eating much less than I do now.  Take that! all you "It's just calories in and calories out!"

You know what, culture?  That's not okay.  Stop doing that.  Stop assuming that fat means weak.  Stop assuming everyone's life goal is to take up less space and that they should spend all their time shaming themselves into it.  IT'S NOT OKAY.  This girl has the same soul today she had with 30 more pounds.  And if there was ever a time she needed a supportive friend it was then.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Commanded to Love


A Message of Love for Veterans


For the last few years as I've faced my own mental health struggles, I have felt a connection to helping veterans with PTSD.  I don't know what they've been through.  I won't begin to say that.  And I haven't formally helped them, but my heart wants to.




If any of you know organizations doing great things to help vets, please share with me.  I'd like to help.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Mirrors Song Lyrics

I guess I like variety.  So today I'm going to post what's in my heart and has been running through my mind for about a week.  I'm like that with songs :).



"Mirrors"

Aren't you somethin' to admire?
'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror
And I can't help but notice
You reflect in this heart of mine
If you ever feel alone and
The glare makes me hard to find
Just know that I'm always
Parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original
'Cause it doesn't seem merely a sample
And I can't help but stare, 'cause
I see truth somewhere in your eyes
I can't ever change without you
You reflect me, I love that about you
And if I could, I would look at us all the time

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

Yesterday is history
Tomorrow's a mystery
I can see you lookin' back at me
Keep your eyes on me
Baby, keep your eyes on me

'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
Show me how to fight for now (please show me, baby)
I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back into you once I figured it out
You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me
I couldn't get any bigger
With anyone else beside of me
And now it's clear as this promise
That we're making two reflections into one
'Cause it's like you're my mirror
My mirror staring back at me, staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life [x10]

Now you're the inspiration for this precious song
And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on
So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone
And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home
Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life [x8]

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do
You're my reflection and all I see is you
My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life [x16]

Saturday, October 19, 2013

The Joker Comes Clean



No one who knows me in real life will believe this...but I recently developed a reputation for dark and dirty joke telling, with sides of swearing, and a heavy dose of snark.

You see, I joined a support group.  I let them see my insides and they showed me theirs.  We saw our common humanity and felt nourished by the interaction.

In thinking about the incongruity that this reputation developed in a group designed to make me better and lift me higher, I thought of this quote.  Comedy, especially of the questionable variety, may not be for everyone, but we all patch our wounds different ways.

I'm just so thankful to actually have the band-aid this year.  Thank you, my group.  You know who you are and you've helped mend me.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Should We Give?




Dreaming of Florida


My daughter's best friend moved to Florida this year and after a lengthy phone conversation  a few days ago, my daughter planned an RV trip for us to spend the whole summer there :).

Yeah, that's not going to happen, but it did make me realize that is one of the only states I have never been to!  Not sure why, just never happened.  So I decided (since I love pictures) to search for images that tell me about the place.

Here they are:









Are you from Florida?  What else is there besides beach?  I'd love to hear more.

Saturday, October 12, 2013

To Give


Netflix Recommendations

I am taking this opportunity to post a bunch of lists from conversations with my friends.  I ask for ideas or recommendations and I get these fabulous lists and then I'm afraid I'll lose them before I get a chance to make use of them.  So they will be documented here!


What to Watch on Netflix

1.  Arrested Development
2.  Breaking Bad
3.  House of Cards
4.  Doctor Who
5.  Buffy the Vampire Slayer
6.  Parks and Recreation
7.  New Girl
8.  Firefly
9.  Touching the Void
10. Prime Suspect
11. Friday Night Lights
12. Sherlock
13. Luthor
14. House of Cards
15. Scandal
16. Hellbound
17. Lost
18. Doc Martin
19. Community
20. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
21. The Newsroom
21. Jesus Camp
22. Lord, Save us from your Followers
23. American Experience: Jonestown: The Life and Death of Peoples Temple
24. Doubt (Meryl Streep)
25. Ghandi
26. Transcendent Man
27. Derek
28. Dexter
29. Entourage
30. Yip Man
31. The Warrior
32.  Kumare
33. Call the Midwife




Monday, October 7, 2013

LDS General Conference weekend Meme's

For Mormon folks that have access to Pinterest and Facebook (if they are like me) there is a shocking speed with which little blips of what was actually spoken or spoken about hit the internet waves.  It's a frenzy of cutesy handouts!!!  So rather than be annoyed, I decided to jump in and create my own.  

I think every one is unique and reflects my own personal feelings this weekend.  Enjoy.







And for the speakers I loved:


Just kidding!  He didn't say that!


He said this.  And lots and lots of other great stuff.  Truth is, truth can't be reduced to soundbites.