tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post3129263533120867875..comments2024-02-26T00:14:59.543-08:00Comments on Western Warmth: Nice is not always NiceBobi Jensenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-57299582691904274842012-08-31T08:39:13.619-07:002012-08-31T08:39:13.619-07:00Thanks!Thanks!Bobi Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-6501090546222719822012-08-30T07:44:04.110-07:002012-08-30T07:44:04.110-07:00Wow .. what a heart felt post. I can very much r...Wow .. what a heart felt post. I can very much relate to this so thank you for being so honest and transparent. I let a high-school friend go this past year when she felt she could just dump and me, regardless of how "nice" I tried to be it made her more aggressive. Found this on "What I Learned Wednesday". Thanks again! pippa<br />www.shopwithpippa.comshopwithpippa.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04797175843464954164noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-30009681415895003102012-08-27T21:13:09.588-07:002012-08-27T21:13:09.588-07:00Thanks for posting this! It's nice to see som...Thanks for posting this! It's nice to see some honest opinions online and were willing to share a lesson learned. Your link was one of the most clicked on my blog so I'm featuring Wednesday! Alexis Tanner Lanehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03137547604204514254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-19131060097363992572012-08-24T15:20:16.078-07:002012-08-24T15:20:16.078-07:00Thanks for sharing this...it sounds like you "...Thanks for sharing this...it sounds like you "get" just what I mean. You may be anonymous but I'm thankful for your friendship you've shown by sharing your heart :).Bobi Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-42647143664432441292012-08-24T14:46:59.302-07:002012-08-24T14:46:59.302-07:00I too have been "nice" when I just need ...I too have been "nice" when I just need to strengthen my own emotional needs - but did not want anyone to see the me who was sinking in a pit of despair. I had a breakdown and was hospitalized for a week. I learned more about prayer and that it was okay to be alone for awhile. If you look back on your life and realize that always being the nice girl really didn't add any value to your life, you feel sorrow for the time gone, there is time needed to mourn. <br />Friends are real, they don't care who you vote for, or what church you favor, they accept you because of that big heart inside. And friendship is not all one sided.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-21245066121732797492012-08-23T11:05:48.936-07:002012-08-23T11:05:48.936-07:00I agree, its been kind of weird. Not the drama I ...I agree, its been kind of weird. Not the drama I need in my life - especially with people I never see in real life. I'm thankful for prayer and my own REAL family that have needs to keep me on course.Bobi Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-41848918646888137392012-08-23T11:04:50.349-07:002012-08-23T11:04:50.349-07:00Thanks, that means a lot coming from you! Thanks, that means a lot coming from you! Bobi Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-63167598590281438152012-08-23T01:46:00.477-07:002012-08-23T01:46:00.477-07:00I really appreciate your wisdom, Bobi. This was in...I really appreciate your wisdom, Bobi. This was incredibly well-written and thought-provoking. <br />Tiffany Wacaserhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08224661646987749451noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-72491859059086694832012-08-22T13:59:38.370-07:002012-08-22T13:59:38.370-07:00Thanks Bobi! It is an interesting adjustment havin...Thanks Bobi! It is an interesting adjustment having them all at school. The time flies, as I knew it would. I'm starting to feel the need to put myself on some kind of schedule because it is becoming disorienting to spend all day floating from one project in the house to another and back again. I also learned pretty quickly that having the tv on all day for noise is not good for my spirit, even though it wasn't "bad" tv that I was watching. I need some silence too. And some music. And something that will stimulate me like Conference talks. I put off a lot of the unpacking and sorting from our move during the summer because I didn't want to work on it while the kids were home. Now that they are at school I'm going strong on it (blech, too much junk!). Once I'm done (I have to be done eventually), I'm going to sign up for a class and start studying for the GRE. Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01937578488362462994noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-9082579832774013382012-08-22T12:44:23.814-07:002012-08-22T12:44:23.814-07:00I'm amazed at the level of discourse I have be...I'm amazed at the level of discourse I have been seeing lately. Everything has become an I'm right, You're wrong and stupid and have no idea. When, really, all political realities are nuanced and shaded and different viewpoints should be ignored at the least, but hopefully respected. I'm sorry you had to go through this.Amanda and Rob Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00103179868143188189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-16988692236883214042012-08-22T07:08:19.892-07:002012-08-22T07:08:19.892-07:00Thanks, Heather! I agree, it's always so hard...Thanks, Heather! I agree, it's always so hard for me to say no. Being honest is always kinder in the end, but its hard! Thanks for sharing, I always love your perspective and that you understand me so well. Hope your "empty nest" for a few hours is going ok...have you adjusted?Bobi Jensenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07691254928223482975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5693318878614328265.post-90039813780405960552012-08-22T06:02:36.160-07:002012-08-22T06:02:36.160-07:00This was a great post Bobi! I have painfully ended...This was a great post Bobi! I have painfully ended a couple of friendships in the past for similar reasons (primarily because they were one-sided, but it took me years to realize it), although I don't think I was able to clarify my thoughts as well as you have. I appreciate your insights. Something else along the "being nice" idea that I have been learning lately is the art of expressing my needs or even just saying no. For example, someone once asked me to watch their kids for a whole day on a day my husband was going to be off of work. I replied with some lengthy explanation about how I would need to talk to my husband, think about our plans for the day, etc. and I would get back to her, deep down knowing that it would be a huge imposition. When I finally got back to her and had the courage to say it wouldn't work out, I think it ended up being more offensive to her than if I had just said "I'm so sorry I can't do it that day" and ended it right there when she asked. If I hadn't tried to be nice, I think it would have been over and done with, but instead it became kind of a big deal with her. The same goes with expressing my needs with family members, etc. Instead of giving long explanations with lots of excuses, reasons, and options of why I would like to do something (being nice) I'm learning it's actually better for everyone involved if I just say what I need, and that's actually a very positive thing. As always, I love your blog and am grateful for you! I hope back to school is going well for your girls!Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01937578488362462994noreply@blogger.com