Sleep

It's one of those rare mornings where I awoke realizing I had had a good night's sleep.  That is so rare that it seems to be an occasion to celebrate, and even blog about ;).

It's amazing how when you wake up rested your brain functions so much better.  It made me wonder...if I had weeks of nights like this, what would it do for my mental health?

And the guilt sets in.  I am a bad, bad patient :).  My Dr. told me to take one of my anxiety pills every night, even if I'm able to get by without them during the day so that I can get enough sleep.  He said this because he knows about all the sleepless nights I went through before my panic issues were being treated.  He also knows how much sleep, or lack thereof, can really mess with you mentally.

So why didn't I listen?  Why did I try to go without the anxiety meds?

I still can't always decipher why I am so stubborn about thinking I need to make all my own plans, regardless of medical advice.  Although I hate to confess it, the truth is I "get more done" when I am running on a steady diet of panic, anxiety, and worry about having done enough.  If I take my medicine at bedtime, I promptly lie down and don't really "think" until morning.

If I don't take it (bad patient! bad patient!) I have several hours to an entire night where I can think over and analyze all the things bugging me, re-read the mean things someone said to me on facebook, and maybe even get some sewing in :).  But usually it isn't really productive time, it's just fretting time.  And sleep is SO MUCH MORE HELPFUL in the long-run.

So, to wrap up, this post appears to be entirely a letter to myself to take care of myself and do what I know is right for my health!

Amen!