Journal

Dear Kids-

Here's why I keep a journal.

Because I found the name of my bishop/punisher that set my PTSD in motion, and knowing his name helped me to target my pain rather than spread it around the people I love in hopes of emotional protection.

I wrote a poem about my healing--the healing that came from your father's basic every day love.  Then when there was a call for poems for a book I could type and submit it and feel that creative satisfaction as I sent my heart out into the world.

Because I was reminded to by a PPD counselor after having my third baby.  I had never done it for healing, only out of duty.  When I turned to it in pain it was like the steady non-judgemental friend that I needed.

Because I could list my dreams, so that sitting in meditation my heart and mind could weigh the truth and feeling of those dreams to plan my next step (or letting go).

Because I read the words, the painfully personal words of pioneer women as they followed their man or their church into the unknown and I like to know what they felt, feared, and turned to for comfort.  Those ladies are like me, and they are like you when you navigate your adult life.  They are my dearest friends.