Since expressing my dismay that one can't really ever seem to be a "good" mom, I had the thought today that the problem may just be in how I define that. And the really powerful idea is that *I* could define that for myself. For the rest of my life!
Admittedly I worry (too much) about what the kids will think and say when they are grown to let me know where I went wrong and what they could have been or achieved if only I had_____ or______. But thanks to my counselor and some medication and some contemplation I've decided I can choose how to feel about myself and my contribution to my children's lives...my career as a mom, if you will. Even when I am older, and looking back. Even if my grown children complain. I can choose to view my contributions in a positive light, similar to how I choose to remember my accomplishments in my former outside-the-home career.
I feel guilt on a regular basis of what activities the kids aren't doing, the playdates they want that I say no to if I just don't feel up to it, the big fancy parties I do not throw :), the crafts I don't have time to make with them, the "Justice" brand clothes they now want that I don't want to spend our money on, etc, etc. I think the key to this is for me to stop anticipating future conversations about what I didn't do or provide and just EnJOY what I can give them now. If what I give them is simply food, time to play, transportation for their education, help with their homework, and reading, cooking, and sewing skills, that will have to be good and I can choose to be proud of that :).