One of the hardest years of my life was the one we were trying/planning/stressing about the house we had contracted to have built. Looking back I think so much of my anxiety was the warning to back out, but like a stubborn person :), I held on to that dream for dear life. Until I was literally up against a wall and knew there was no other way than to back out.
What I Wanted vs. What I Got
I thought of this experience as I was looking through pinned pictures on Pinterest. I joined it just at the time I was trying to force my dream house into being. I remember the pictures of houses around me that looked so luxe and so show-worthy and just feeling a desperation to be like them. Many of my early pins reflect that aesthetic. One not my own, but which people I wanted to be like had put in their homes.
When it all ended with the building dreams and I began to be open to anything that would work for us I found myself drawn to a certain style that was more ME. Our foreclosure had a hundred and one things that needed fixed but it had a white kitchen that made my heart leap. That wasn't really something the people I was comparing to were into. It was all about which color of wood cabinets was better that year and/or being antiqued. Once I was letting fate/God call the shots my opportunities fell into things that made MY heart leap--not look good to other people.
As styles evolve (and they will keep doing so) it's almost humorous to me to see the fascination with white cabinets and wood floors, since they weren't a "thing" when we started our remodel. I'm not saying they'll be super popular at the time we sell, but I'm saying its liberating to think that when we go with our interests, our joy, the beauty we see can shine.
I wish I would have known then, but maybe it was the best way to learn it. There is always good around the corner. There is a higher plan for us to grow and be happy. I don't need to force anything and I've always got a lot of things to find joy in RIGHT NOW. I know that things are working for my good.
And yours too :).