When I look back on my parenting and life in general so far, the things that give me zero regret and make me feel proud are the times I really listened to my instincts and did what *I* felt right about.
The terms mommy guilt, anxiety, and others are thrown around so often that I would start to use them to talk myself out of my instincts. When I was struggling to know how to make my firstborn sleep (ha ha) and not want held, because of outdated ideas I'd heard from others, I felt a tremendous amount of guilt and anxiety.
Two things saved me:
1. My sister
2. Prayer
My sister recommended books on the topic, attachment parenting books which changed my life! And when I prayed to know how to make this "crying it out" work I got an answer--that THAT was not the answer. Reading those books assured me that my instincts were dead on. There was a reason I felt so much anxiety. Then the peace I felt when I tried what my instincts told me, helped me know I was on the right path.
That was just the start, but just yesterday morning (now I am 8 1/2 years into my parenting journey) I awoke at 5 am. No child woke me up, just my brain starting working/thinking. I started right in on frustration with myself about wasting my opportunities to sleep, but then decided to pray rather than criticize myself. Once I started praying I instantly felt the urge to go check on one of my children.
I knelt next to her bed, put my hands down on her blanket and she sat up and started throwing up. I was able to keep things as clean as possible and hold her and help her. I felt so empowered after that! I was grateful I had prayed, I was grateful I had listened. And most of all I was glad my instincts/the Spirit helped me wake up even though no one was crying for me.
I embrace my feelings, including the guilt and the anxiety. When I choose to pray about them I usually find something that needs resolved. I am so grateful to be Heavenly Father's daughter and especially to be given the opportunity to be a mother. It has been the biggest learning experience ever, and I am sure will continue to be!
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Thanks! What a great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks! I needed this reminder.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true. It is so easy to second guess yourself s a mother, but if you really listen to those instincts and to the spirit, then usually things work out.
ReplyDeleteI am fascinated at how individual children are and how different families work. I consider my parenting style a blend of different ideas. I follow some aspects of attachment parenting and disregard others. I think my curious blend of styles is entirely due to the needs of my children and family.
I love how you learned to feel enpowered when you listened to your instincts and followed that. Very powerful!
Perfectly expressed. I love this. Thanks for sharing your experiences...they are such great reminders and examples of how I want parent my kids!
ReplyDeleteI like the way Neal A Maxwell calls it... "Divine Discontent". It's so good to hear you talk! I sure miss you!!!!
ReplyDeleteThat is AWESOME! P.s. No wonder I couldn't access your blog for so long...I didn't realize you were gone. Glad you're back, even if only here and there. Sounds about like me!
ReplyDelete