LDS church discipline

I'm discouraged today. One by one all of the mormon friends I have who have spoken out and made themselves a public mockery in order to fight the inappropriate behavior of some LDS leaders, have been excommunicated out of the church. I enjoy going to church, especially the humble, kind souls who attend there, that I get to commune with. I was disfellowshipped as a young woman and threatened with getting kicked out of Ricks (BYU-I) because of a sexual assault. I told my bishop I had said no three times, but he thought I wasn't sorry enough. He thought I needed the discipline to formulate a plan to prevent it from happening again and to let the sorrow sink in that I had defiled the temple by attending after it happened. When the PTSD came back to haunt me and literally break down my life in my late 30s I felt really strongly that in order to heal I needed to be public with this, as that was the only way it would really change. I'm learning that that is a very risky place to be as far as being seen as a church threat. The more friends I have from church that add me here, the more I feel like I need to warn them. I feel like I look like a wolf in sheep's clothing by speaking out about wrongs, and I don't want them to feel like I am leading or tempting them into church rebellion. This is my story. I can't change it. I have released myself from the pain of it and lifted off the burden of carrying it around. But I will be a loud voice for change anytime I can, because there is no reason for kids today to go through the fear and shame that can change the soul of who they are. Sam Young is now being excommunicated for speaking against this stuff, and I realized today that as three of my friends have made themselves a sacrifice to change this stuff (which has felt like them being brave for ME), that as an active member, the responsibility of sharing my story is now on my shoulders. This is what I must do, or my suffering would be in vain. I was a victim of non consensual sexual contact as a teen. But I was an even more painful victim of spiritual abuse, being told weekly that I needed to make better plans to avoid it in the future, and that I wasn't sorry enough for it, that I needed to think more about what I did wrong, and humiliated each week as I had to say no to prayers or taking sacrament so that my friends would know I was "unworthy." Having that reinforced weekly for almost a year caused more mental damage that I can explain. We need, need, need to change this. The LDS church may not want to change it. I probably look like a rebel for saying such things, but I can't be quiet anymore. This is a burden that I've been given specifically to work to change. I don't like it at all. I don't want to be a victim. I want to be looked at as strong, as a leader. I worked so hard to keep up that image for 20 years after it. But my spiritual growth caused all those illusions to fall apart and I know I need to use this struggle and weakness for good.