When I Was a Teenager, I had an abusive boyfriend

And here's thing.  I had warning. It started out warped and twisted, and I ignored that in my own pain.

Pain?  I was fresh off of being dumped by the love of my life--Dan, Dan the Maytag man as my bff called him.  We were obsessively attached, which his mom found disturbing, so he worked up the courage to walk away completely.

As a mom of teenagers, I get it now.  As a fourteen year old, I had lost everything.  His creepy best friend rather than be loyal to him looked at it as an opening to him and me.  He probably sensed my vulnerability, how lost and lonely I felt.

As victims tend to do, I felt grateful that *somebody* liked me.  Not just liked, but would follow me when I didn't want him to, grab my neck or shoulders as I walked by, and try to stop me from talking to other boys in the school day.  Man, he must really really like me, I thought.

My bff was worried.  I'd be sitting at a party and he'd sit down next to me and put his hand on my knee.  She'd wonder why I allowed it and I'd tell her I didn't know what to do!  Giggle giggle.

That was how our relationship started.  I gave up getting away.  I stayed paralyzed with awkwardness in a seat at a party with his hand on my knee.  I literally just gave up one day and decided to take comfort in the fact that I had a "boyfriend," without ever being asked if I was interested.  The safety that was anything but.