Friday, November 23, 2012
Showing Up (adult female friends version)
So, I have been reading the momastary blog again, and as always she speaks to me. I'm not sure it was the most recent post but she spoke about showing up, and what I felt was it was about being real. Not everybody wants real, but some people need real.
I have a really tough time connecting with someone who is trying to appear a certain way or put off a certain image. One of the mistakes I made in the last couple of years was trying to win people over to the "real" side. I would smile and joke and join in positive discussion with their mylifeisperfect face hoping that with enough sharing on my part there would eventually be enough trust on their part to be real with me. Either I saw it as a challenge or I just didn't have a lot of options and wanted to rush friendships. I haven't analyzed my reasons fully, but suffice it to say "people as projects" is so not a good idea.
As a mom I think I am desperate for some female camaraderie Desperate as well as a little hopeless. It is so hard to have anything to give to a friendship after pouring myself out to 5 other people day and night. I don't know how to have friendships without givinggivinggivinggiving till this is all that is left of me. I miss the youthful innocent days where relationships were just about being. I am me. You are you. And we are together. Cool, huh? It seemed that simple. If I could find the adult version of that it'd really help. I guess the adult version of that is the workplace. Has anyone found a good way to handle this as a stay-at-home mom?