Showing up is the new fad inside my brain. I think that phrase several times a day. Maybe its because I have spend almost two years doing the very opposite: trying to avoid contact with people, trying to avoid conflict, trying to not look like any idiot...so not showing up at all.
I've decided its high time for that to end. Why? Because life is short and I want to get all I can out of it. If I have some potential I don't want to squander it hiding in a self-made hole. Sometimes I think hiding is more comfortable for others. Especially by someone with a great big (maybe overwhelming for others?) personality. I have so much I like, so much I care about, it just spills over. And I am afraid the mess it makes is too much for others to handle. And I get afraid of rejection so I try to hold it in, hold it in. But that is discouraging to me...so I just want to spend the rest of my life living in this big personality and enjoy it.
That's why there is a de-friend button on facebook and that is why I keep a blog. I can explode with personality and if it bothers someone they can simply not read. It's freeing, really.
So, I'm HERE! Today's pleasures are sunshine and unseasonably warm temperatures. That's 3 beautiful autumns in a row, Omaha! I'm loving it! You're getting points ol' girl! Also on today's pleasure list is the realization that the huge pile of branches in my yard from this weekend's trimmings have all kinds of artistic potential! I can't wait to create some crafts with them.
I think you have made the right and "only! possible decision. Why hold yourself and hide in a hole when there is a whole world outside in which everyone is free to choose if they want to like or not, you just shouldn`t care. Be happy and live everyday as something special!! That is my mantra.
ReplyDeleteI send you love from Spain :)
I always take a little while to warm up to people. But once I've watched them long enough, I start feeling comfortable enough to be me. Which a lot of times is loud, bossy, and opinionated. Hopefully people like it, because I like it. I think I'm great. haha.
ReplyDeletePS - I really like you. I worry that maybe you didn't let me into that big personality, but whatever you showed me I loved!