Monday, September 12, 2016

New school year, New life stages


I've started a new stage of life this fall -- my youngest started school.

Somehow I thought there'd be more fanfare, since I'd imagined it being this holy arrival moment every time I had a needy, colicky baby.  I needed to give myself hope to get through the hard days of young mothering and a lot of that hope was pinned on this moment.

Truth is, kids get easier as they get older regardless of how much they are out of the home.  When my older kids would start school it was rather disappointing because they were helpful and a joy to spend the day with and the baby would often struggle without the sibling interaction.  Plus, add in more pick ups and drop offs, and the chaos went up instead of down.

Anyway, the dreamed of day for the last one has finally arrived and it's strange.  It's quiet.  It calls on me to schedule things that really don't need scheduled, just done.  Dishes, laundry, baking, vacuuming, all can be done in any order.  I was actually overwhelmed with the potential on the first day and worried that I might waste the time on pointless pursuits.  I'm not talking about games or relaxation (I'd do better to have more of that actually).  I'm referring to many years of cleaning things that a toddler would unclean, and I didn't want to waste time on useless work.

A few days into it I started exercise classes, and I've continued to do that most days.  Yoga is particularly calming/energizing and makes a great start to the day.  On those first few days I also did a lot of online job hunting.  I even watched a prep video on Fed Ex's sorting process.  It sounds pretty intense.  Considering I have a rough time holding yoga poses with my wrists or shoulders there's a strong (ha!) chance that kind of heavy lifting isn't the best work for me.

I'm getting more comfortable with the decision, again, that I have to make almost every year it seems that I am a full time homemaker, that I make a difference in my children's life, and that's ok.  AND I'm trying to do more writing too, so it's nice to have the time space to do that.

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