Waiting

I'm waiting for the day to end.  I asked my hubby to put the kids to bed so I could stay down here and watch a travel show (I had borrowed a bunch of travel DVD's from the library).  Instead I'm writing this.

Today was a "bad" day.  I accomplished what needed to be done--including the laundering of our bedding which seems to keep getting peed in when a kid crawls in to sleep with us...That always takes forever:  the king size pad is a load, then all the sheets, and finally the comforter.  Then when they are finally dry hauling it all upstairs.  Okay, really it's a couple hour chore.  But when you are trying to keep four people from touching Dad's dangerous building tools, keep them fed, etc....it just feels like SO MUCH.

I did my part of helping with the deck tonight by hammering in nails.  Nails that are already in the deck but are working their way up.  I just got to hammer them right back down.  I was a little nervous about how loud it was to the neighbors.  Which was a shame, cause hammering my frustrations might have been satisfying :).

I think it is labeled a "bad day" because of the uselessness I feel in all of the looming home projects combined with being overwhelmed with the task of parenting.  Remembering back to my career days I remember so many things that I knew I was good at.  But here's this:  Do you know any good moms?  Or any moms that consider themselves "good" at that job?  How about women whose children are grown?  Have you EVER heard one of them say they did a good job looking back?  All I ever hear about is regrets...what they didn't do enough of.

Yeah.  So that's where my thoughts are today.  Doing the job that's impossible to do well.  And trying to figure out how to be happy about that impossibility.